Her Life in Candles
by IndigoProphecy
Summary: Borderline paleolithic, that's what it was. But Foaly's got to admit, a light source not consuming the earth's energy? Genius...for a human invention. But honestly! A candle is the most overused metaphor around. Then again, coins and switched eyes are becoming a little bit overused too. So candles it is. A three-part farewell to the series of my growing up years


Here's my very late tribute to the series. There are many of these post-TLG fics popping out so I'm sure you're tired of this overused path, but I couldn't resist. In fact, this was supposed to be an oneshot, but I'm at 15,000 words now and still typing so I had no choice but to cut this monster into three parts.

I finished reading TLG a week ago, but I couldn't write anything. I felt like someone I knew died. I haven't cried this much since ever. Not even when my aunt died. All I was capable of doing was reading sappy, tragic, angsty fics and have a post-TLG sobfest. Those fics were wonderful. It made me realize that I'm not the only person who grew up with Arty. Everyone here was mourning just as I was. I strongly recommend Lli's Parentare. I had no tears left after that one. And 2whitie's 8 Movies That Could've Ruin AF. And of course, HolidayBoredom and xybolic's drabbles and oneshots. Those are like, fanfiction's classics. All I need now is a post-TLG Kitsune Heart fic. Then I can die.

* * *

**Life in Candles**

**Zero : **_Opal's button preferences_

"Okay, everything's arranged now. All I have to do is get it going. Before I press the big red ominous button that for some reason Opal preferred over a good old touch screen booting system, are you sure about this Holly?"

Holly didn't even bother answering the centaur. He had asked her this question again and again after Holly told him about Artemis' last wishes. She braced herself from Foaly's umpteenth inevitable _cloning-is-illegal-maybe-we-should-let-him-go_ speech. To her surprise, it didn't come.

Instead, the centaur sighed.

"Tell me Holly, how did it feel after he died? How did those hours before you knew about his plan feel?"

The elf looked at the centaur's face, blue from the dull glow of the chrysalis. Foaly was one of her closest friends. But he was not the kind of friend that gives out hugs, holds hands and asks how she feels. Foaly was more likely to ask how she felt about the new lightweight neutrino than ask how she emotionally felt. Holly, affronted by the question no one else had ever asked her before, did not answer.

"I saw the look on your face Holly. You looked like you were dying. You still do. If you let it go now, you'll get over it eventually."

Anger bubbled from Holly's mourning veins. She'll _get over_ Artemis? _Eventually?_

"_Let him go?_" Holly whispered. "_Let him go! _I-"

"Wait, Holly. Hear me out before you kill me. I know you would never let go of him. It's just that he might be the one to let go. He'll head towards the light at then end of the tunnel and all that."

Holly looked away. "Press the button, Foaly."

"If he dies again, you're pretty much going to die too, Holly. And I've made it pretty clear I'm opposed resurrecting dead friends."

"Foaly. Stop with the metaphors and drama. Just press the button."

Foaly pressed the big red button. Holly bated her breath. The chrysalis glowed blue as the big red button slid back, revealing a good old touch screen booting system.

* * *

**One-Half **: _Because everyone on fanfiction had theories on how Artemis got his extra toe_

Foaly was… perhaps he needed to pee.

"Foaly, you can go pee. I'll watch the clone." Holly said, perching herself on a stool.

Foaly cantered twice to the left, swished his arms and let out a deep growl. "There. Sorry you had to see that. If I stopped in mid-dance, Artemis' soul might get merged into a tree."

"That was _dancing_?" Holly would have laughed, but her friend was dead. "Shouldn't you be taking care of the clone instead of 'dancing'?"

"Hey, Holly. You know how our only problem with this clone is that it might end up soulless?"

"A pleasant morning to you too, Foaly. I hope no one ruins it for you."

"Lookie what I found." Foaly tossed a memo-chip to Holly.

"Is this… an actual V-Book?" The elf hasn't seen a legit V-Book since it phased-out fifty years ago. Literary works were now published straight to the internet, to technology trash.

"Yep. It's a reviving art. All surviving tech's surrendered to my office for redistribution. You won't believe the trash in the Ops Booth right now. Anyhoo, I found this little V-Book. Madame Lalabulu's Guide to the Spirits. Good, eh? Apparently, the dance I did would give Spirit!Artemis flying powers, if only I had performed it with a strand of his hair and a cup of dried stinkworm ears."

"Mhm. Listen, I have to go. My break's over. Focus on Artemis, Foaly."

"I am! I-"

"Aargh! Foaly! The fetus thing! It... it has six toes!"

"D'arvit!"

"Fix it! D'arvit Foaly. I have to go. D'Arvit! Fix it! And no more dancing!"

"Hold on to the V-Book, Holly. Try and find a way to keep Arty's soul away from the light. Check out chapter 9. Apparently, spirits see the world in darkness and light. Maybe -"

"Alright, Foaly! Just, shut up and fix his toe." Holly left the lab, pocketing the V-Book to appease the centaur.

* * *

**One**

Holly's feet touched the grass. The elf landed beside the tower. _The_ tower.

It's been a month now. Above ground, nothing had changed. It's as if the world didn't get the memo that Artemis died. Fowl Manor was still Fowl Manor. The tower where he died was still a tower. Even the hill beyond the grass remained a hill, oblivious to the heir slumbering six feet below.

Perhaps another person would prattle a dramatic soliloquy into the winds, black veil across the face and equally black umbrella at hand. If not that, maybe another person would pretend to talk to the departed in hushed tones, laughing even though deep inside they feel like crap and baby, why did you leave me here on this earth alone?

But not Holly. She tried, but her words felt fake and forced. It was not their thing, talking about feelings. Especially if the talking was addressed to a dead, floating spirit. She was sure that mud man's soul would prefer a time tunnel and a troll instead of a tearful elegy. So instead, she stood there in silence, by the tower.

The night grew deeper. Eventually she would have to leave. But to leave without doing anything felt wrong. Foaly did that silly dance. She should do something, too. Try and find a way to keep Arty's soul away from the light, like Foaly said.

_Light._

The elf left. But she came back almost immediately.

_Neutrino set on low. Raise arm. Aim. Fire._

The small fragile flame of the candle flickered in the Irish spring breeze. Somehow, the dancing light was… beautiful.

"There, Artemis. Head towards _this_ light. Not that bright one at the end of the tunnel. You can't steal anything up there, swear. Head towards this light."

Holly had the right to be wistful. The light seemed magical. She expected something to happen. Perhaps the moon would appear, or the breeze would blow stronger. Maybe a flower shoot out of the soil or maybe the flame would suddenly grow brighter. Anything.

But nothing happened. The night remained dark. The breeze stayed playful. The candle was still just a candle. Artemis was still dead.

Holly turned, and left.

* * *

**Two **: _The only thing more tragic than a death of a mother is a death of a mother's child _

Two months now.

She wasn't selfish. She was weak. She was too weak to be selfless. When her husband disappeared, she left Arty behind for her sanity. When she had thought Arty left them, she left him behind for the twins. Angeline was always leaving her eldest son. And now her eldest son left her.

The Fowl matriarch gazed beyond the window, to where Butler had told her of her son's sacrifice.

"Oh, Arty." The mother sighed. The winds carried her whisper out the open window.

To her surprised, a small light appeared far in the grounds, exactly where the fateful tower was. It was impossible to tell where land and sky begun and ended; the whole world seemed black in the moonless night… save for that flame. The miniscule light illuminated the night with its delicate orange. In the distance, its glow seemed like a star.

_Artemis? Could that be my son? _

She was about to run to the light. His name was almost out her lips. But before Angeline could do anything, she saw the silhouette of a fairy in the candlelight.

Candlelight. That was what it was. The flare was a mere candle, not a sign from Artemis from beyond the grave.

Angeline continued to watch as the fairy flew, farther from the candle's light and into the darkness of the night. The fairy was gone.

The candle remained.

* * *

**Three : **_All of them just missed Artemis_

The moon graced the Fowl property tonight. Holly flew under its waning light. Once she passes this hill, the tower would be in her vision. Finally, the trees gave way and Holly saw the familiar structure. Something was wrong.

Holly visited this site every month. Almost every night, this site visited her dreams. But the sight before her now was different. Yes, the tower was still there. But tonight, a growing rose shrub shone in the moonlight and a figure stood beside it, waiting. A human.

_Artemis?_

No.

"Mrs. Fowl," Holly called as her feet touched the ground. There was something about Angeline. Her age, so rarely seen by Holly in other fairies, made the woman majestic. She seemed fragile, precious. But tonight, the human's beauty was mired by weariness. Not grief. Not sadness. Angeline was tired.

"Would you mind if I joined you tonight?" Angeline showed Holly her hands, clutching an elaborate perfumed candle. The pink wax was broken by slight shoots of gold.

Holly merely nodded, strangely miffed by the showy, expensive candle. Without a word, Holly placed her small, white candle beside the stubs of the previous ones. Angeline placed hers beside Holly's.

"Let me." Angeline said. The woman bent down low, igniting the two candles with a match. When the candles were lit, she sat down beside the standing elf. Holly knew she had no right to think this, but Angeline's presence irked her. This was _her_ special spot with Artemis.

After a few moments of silence watching their dancing shadows, Angeline spoke. "Holly, I saw you last month, from the window. It was… I… Thank you. It gave me peace."

Holly nodded. Another moment of silence passed. This time, the two women watched the flame as it fought with the almost-summer wind.

"Perhaps I should build a candle shelter here."

"No." Holly snapped. But she caught herself. "I'd prefer it this way, Mrs. Fowl." She added softly.

"Please, Holly, call me Angeline. And yes, perhaps you're right. He'd prefer it this way too."

Holly softened at Angeline's kindness. All of them just missed Artemis. "The rose, did you plant it?"

"No, it just suddenly grew there." Angeline said. "Would you like it removed?" Artemis' mother asked this out of courteousness. But really, she would rather not have the still bloomless shrub removed.

"No!" Holly blurted. "No. It looks wonderful there. That's the exact spot where Artemis…"

Silence. The two flames bowed down to the wind, but neither succumbed.

"You and him were very close." It wasn't a question. The mother knew Holly was there for Artemis, even during the times Angeline wasn't. She braced herself for Holly's inevitable reminiscing. Holly would tell her stories of Artemis, and the pain it would cause Angeline might just be too much.

But Holly just nodded. No anecdotes of adventures came from the elf. Angeline sighed, secretly disappointed. Even though Angeline knew Holly's stories would only revive her suffering, a part of her wanted to hear them. But Holly remained silent.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." Holly rose. "Thank you."

Angeline stood too. "Good bye, Holly."

"Good bye, Angeline."

* * *

**Four : **_Proxy_

The incarcerated goblins hissed expletives at Holly unceasingly. The captain ignored them, passing her report to the retrieval team's head. She wished the gnome would process her report faster. If she really hurried, she could still catch the last shuttle and make it to Ireland before sunrise.

After what seemed to Holly like years, the gnome grunted and dismissed her. She would've run straight to the shuttleport if the Commander was not in the doorway.

"Woah, Short. Where d'you think you're going?" Trouble said, barely catching the running Holly.

"Shift over, sir." Holly glanced at the clock. She missed the express ride to the shuttleport. She'd have to take the Stick.

"There's a mass goblin prison outbreak and you expect to turn in?" Commander Kelp grunted. He really didn't have time for this.

"Listen, Trubs. I'll take the next _three_ shifts after the next one. It's just. I filed for an aboveground visa tonight. I'll only be gone for an hour. I-"

"There's no full moon. So you can't be doing the ritual, _Holls_" He spat the nickname at Holly. Clearly, Trubs wasn't Trubs during shifts. "I know what tonight is. You've been going up there every month. But that's okay. You're mourning, I respect that. But tonight, these goblins would go threaten civilians and I won't let my best recon walk out. Straighten your helmet."

Before the commander marched off, Trouble muttered, "I'm sorry, Holly, but the People comes first."

Holly sighed. Ridiculously, frustrated tears stung her eyes. Non-LEP business visas were very hard to organize. Moving her visa for tomorrow night would be impossible. She can't miss this. What if Artemis' soul got dependent on the monthly illumination? She _has_ to light that candle.

The elf slot on her helmet and trudged out of the plaza.

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhe-" Foaly whinnied in her ear.

"Yeah. Shut up, Foaly. Just. Connect me to Butler, will you, Foaly?"

The centaur didn't reply. After a few seconds, the _ring ring ring_ of the human line filled her helmet.

"Who is this?" It was four o'clock in Ireland. Butler sounded like he'd been awake since the dawn of time, not like someone who just woke up.

"It's Holly."

"Holly." Butler's deep bass rattled upon hearing his friend's voice. Now, he sounded like someone who did just wake up. "It's four in the morning."

"I know. Sorry, Butler. Listen, I have a favor to ask…"

A few minutes later, Butler was atop the fateful hill. The last time he's been here was four months ago, exactly at this moment. The night was darkest before the dawn, as it had been during that night. Just a few more moments and the sun would've kept Artemis alive.

He watched the small flame until the sun colored the sky pink, orange, and then blue. The same colors that could've saved them all.

* * *

**Five **: _Pray pray pray that you'll stay stay stay_

In the fading summer, the flame is still. The winds instead were inside Holly. In another month, she would be battling death itself.

The candle just burned on, as fierce as Holly's prayers.

"You better still be here, Artemis, and not somewhere up in a cloud laughing at me for lighting silly candles and being sappy as hell."

_Or he could be at hell_.

Holly stopped. The situation was confusing enough without her undecided belief of afterlife getting in the way. Right now, she really didn't give a damn whether there's a hell or a heaven or a purgatory. Holly was too busy being scared. There's no way she'll survive if the clone didn't take.

What if the clone didn't work? She could always keep it in her apartment. Yeah.

The clone itself was disturbing, to say the least. Today, a broken twelve-year-old Artemis met her in Foaly's lab. The very same monster who kept her in a cell. By next week, he would be 14-year-old Artemis, just like when he was when he earned his first friend. By next month, he would be alive. If not…

"See you in a month, Arty. You better not stand me up."

* * *

**Six :** _The legendary light at the end of the tunnel_

After the amount of noise and fuss and tears you would expect subsequent a resurrection, it was now considerably quiet. The sun had already disappeared a few hours back. Holly sat on the table, beside Artemis. Both their gazes were trained outside the window. Silence. All that could be heard is the sound of a boy's breathing, and Beckett's antics somewhere far away in the house.

"I apologize. Perhaps tomorrow, I might remember." Artemis did not know this creature beside her, nor did he recognize any person he met earlier, all of whom was his supposed family. He knew his lack of knowledge bothered them all, this elf especially.

Artemis was wrong. Holly can't be saddened by the fact Artemis forgot her, even if she tried to. All there was is happiness, peace, contentment flooding her very being. Once in a while, an involuntary sigh escaped her lips. Disbelief. Is Artemis really sitting here beside her, now? It seems only yesterday that her disbelief concerned not Artemis' life but Artemis' death.

"You don't have to force yourself, Artemis. We have time."

Silence engulfed them. It was nice, Holly decided, to be not outrunning death for once.

"I do remember something, but…" Hesitation. But still…to him, she seemed a trustworthy friend, a familiar presence, a kindred spirit. Surely someone as clingy and attached as Holly could be trusted.

Holly faced Artemis, intrigued. The human was still staring out the window.

"You're going to laugh at me. It's possibly the most overused cliché in time memoriam." His lips twitched in amusement. Holly smiled, delighted by Artemis' familiar smirk.

"Knowing clichés, you probably remembered how it felt … holding my hands." She was about to say _kissing_ _me, your childhood crush of three or six years._ But she wasn't really going to ruin the opportunity of erasing that memory from history. Plus, rubbing an embarrassing childhood crush in Artemis's face is never a good idea, disoriented, newly resurrected clone or not. And it would sound stuck up, even from her.

"No, nothing like that."

Artemis paused, shifting his gaze at Holly before he continued.

"I remember a light at the end of the tunnel. But instead of taking me away, it took me here, back home."

Holly smiled. The universe was becoming real poetic, twisting their lives like this. Perhaps it got tired twisting their lives towards the direction of megalomaniac pixies.

"Really, Artemis. Were there pearly gates, too?" She'd tell him someday, but not now.

* * *

**A/N:** The numbers represent the months proceeding Artemis' death.

I'll keep this as short as possible. If the rest of the world grew up with Harry Potter, I grew up with Artemis Fowl. While I could write a whole novel describing what Artemis is to me, I could pretty sum it up like this: Thank you, Eoin Colfer. I'm sure many of you feel the same as I do, so I don't have to elaborate how, for lack of better word, fucked up I feel right now. And although the last book didn't satisfy all my needs (where the freaking hell is Minerva, why is there no 19 years later epilogue wherein Holly and Artemis sends their cliché-named children to school etc. etc. etc.), it was wonderful. The best. I hope by next year, Eoin Colfer would be like "Hey, all of you AF fans just got punked because here is another AF novel" or "Hey, I'm pulling a Rick Riordan and would be publishing an AF spin-off series!" or better yet, "I ended AF because the direction of the story was getting too mature for a Disney children's book so I'm going to publish a YA series narrating Artemis' passionate as sin relationship with Holly."

Thoughts?


End file.
